When you smell the dirty cops and they know it
Cashier’s Corner:
Carry-On (2024)
A lot to unpack here, because luggage and TSA right??? Taron Egerton and Jason Bateman go head to head (ear to ear?) in this cat-and-mouse thriller. The Traveler (Bateman) is trying to coerce a TSA agent operating the bag-scanning machine to allow a bag containing a deadly, Russian nerve agent through security and onto a flight. Luckily for LAX, and the passengers of said flight, but unluckily for him, Ethan Kopek (Egerton) is reluctantly promoted to bag-scanning machine duty finding himself in the middle of The Traveler’s plot. Through a series of conversations and a web search depicting the sports section of a local paper, we learn that Ethan is a failed-but-aspiring police academy trainee who also ran high school track. These qualities(?) make him the optimal candidate, unbeknownst to the terrorists, to foil their plot, because he like has a moral compass and maybe used to be able to run kind of fast. Ultimately this is a bargain-bin, wannabe 90s thriller where our Jack Ryan-phd-level-analyst has been replaced by a going-nowhere-never-was and our Gary Oldman-Russian-separatist is now a US citizen-gun-for-hire trying to kill a congresswoman in an attempt to spur on defense spending to weapons manufacturers… I mean, when I put it like that, it’s a pretty accurate representation/reflection of where we’re at as a nation.
——If you liked this, you might also like to (re)watch: Cellular (2004), Drop (2025)——
Barbarian (2022)
Barbarian, the word, is derived from the ancient Greek bárbaros, meaning other, foreigner, or non-Greek speaking (I learned this in college). And that’s just what Tess (Georgina Campbell) and Keith (Bill Skarsgård) have going on, just a little misunderstanding-meet-cute-maybe-this-movie-goes-in-a-completely-different-direction until Bill gets his head smashed to pulp in an underground network of tunnels. The movie had its cave-dwelling hands around my cranium from that moment on; I couldn’t look away! Soon after, we get the other type(s) of barbarian: rude, crude, and full of ‘tude. You’ve got long fingernails, people held in cages, and the suffering mastermind(?) who set this whole thing in motion. The swan dive near the end is a shot to watch for and AJ (Justin Long) measuring the underground tunnels, aloof to the tortured, while prepping to sell the house is chef’s kiss. This is the second Cregger film I’ve seen and enjoyed, and genuinely laughed at, and I cannot wait for his next addition to the collection of quality, modern horror films.
Recently Consumed:
? - Reptile (2023) - Benecio in his element as a brooding, leather-jacketed detective. It always goes to the top
Ballad of a Small Player (2025) - Colin Ferrell was just sooo sweaty the whole time
! - Carry-On (2024) - This was like 15 minutes too long, but an endorsement for HS sports!
Nobody 2 (2025) - The amount of time it must take to rig up those booby traps
Jack Ryan: Ghost War (2026) - They must not have had enough material for a whole season :/
Good Luck Have Fun Don’t Die (2026) - Gore probably wished he had prime Pirates Depp for this one
! - Barbarian (2022) - Wowowow this was fun. Cregger!!
[! - worth your time]
[? - maybe worth your time?]
[x - stay away it’s rotten]
In the Cart:
Sex, Lies, and Videotape (1989) - An oldie and hopefully a goodie
Friendship (2025) - Combatting the male loneliness epidemic
Thrash (2026) - Childbirth in shark-infested waters?!?
28 Years Later (2025) - So much time has passed since Cilian first woke up!
Beast (2022) - Idris vs a lion!
The Bride! (2026) - Critics are calling this “a true hot mess”
